Say What?!

Have you ever had someone say something to you in all seriousness and wonder what in the world they were thinking when they said it? I've had that happen to me a lot, as I'm sure everyone has. But when you're a military spouse, things that non military people ask or say to you completely throws you off and makes you want to say "Really?! Did you just say that?" If you're reading this and you're a military spouse/girlfriend, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. If not, just keep reading and you'll soon understand.

As I was trying to think of post ideas, my mind started to drift about stupid things that people have asked me or said to me since Justin has been in the Air Force. As I think back on some of the things, I can't help but shake my head and wonder what on earth were they thinking. There are just some things that you don't say to someone who's husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, is serving. I wrote down a few that stood out to me most over the years and also researched the web to see what other military significant others (I'm going to refer to them as SO throughout the rest of this post)  had to say about the topic. Here are a list of some that I found to be most common and some that I have personally been asked.

-"I know how you feel."
 This is the biggest no no to say to a military SO. Especially one that is currently away from their love due to a deployment, TDY, school, BMT, etc. I've had people tell me numerous times "I know how you feel" then proceed to tell me about the long weekend they had to spend away from their lover. Gag.

-"Do you miss him?"
Really? Is that a trick question. Believe it or not, I actually had more than one person ask me that while Justin was deployed.

-"I don't know how you do it."
This is another very common thing that people say to military SO. And honestly, they probably mean it as a compliment. But after you've been told that a few times, it gets really old. My response, "I love him. That's how I do it."

-"You knew what you were getting yourself into when you married him."
"Yes, I DO know. But YOU don't so please shut up." Believe it or not, people actually say this to your face. Thank the Lord no one has ever said it to me because they would be missing a few teeth.

-"I bet it's hard being a single parent now that he's gone."
This one is my biggest pet peeve EVER. I hate when people say it to me and I hate when other military SO say it about themselves. You are not a single parent. I assure you that your SO would much rather be with you, helping with the kids instead of being where he is at that moment. And think about what the definition of "single" means. If you're married, you're not single. Just saying.

-"Oh, your husband is in the military. Y'all have it made then."
Uh, wrong. I seriously do not know where people get their information. Yes, we have good benefits and a pay check every two weeks. But if you call having your husband in a war zone at months at a time "made", then yes, we have it made. Please, do not say this to us.

-"But he's going to miss everything."
Thanks for the reminder. Do we like that he will miss our anniversary, birthday, kid's birthday, holidays? Um, no. But it's his job and we are aware that "he will miss everything."

-People automatically thinking that Justin flies because he is in the Air Force.
This one just makes me laugh! I had a Marine wife tell me "Well, at least he will be safer since he will be in the air." I looked at my girlfriend (who's husband is also Air Force) and we had to try our hardest not to laugh.

So, now you know things NOT to say to a military spouse. I understand that people are just trying to relate or make conversation or whatnot. The next time you strike up a conversation with a military spouse, remember that there is a fine line between conversation and sounding stupid.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Well, the time finally came. Justin was sworn back into Air Force active duty Thursday, April 18th and started out on the long 18 hour journey to San Antonio, Texas to start recruiter school Sunday morning. Talk about an emotional day. I hadn't really mentally or emotionally prepared myself for the "see ya laters". I mean, I knew they were coming but I guess I figured that if I didn't think about it, it would never come. Just call me Scarlett O'Hara! Any who, Justin and I got up around 8:00 Sunday morning with the intention of getting him out the door and on the road by 9:00 so he could drive for 8 or 10 hours and stop at a hotel before too late in the evening. Justin thought he would be able to leave while Silas was still asleep to avoid a depressing goodbye but when the time came for him to leave, Si wasn't up yet and Justin just couldn't bring himself to leave without one last Silas hug. I kind of saw that one coming. Wifely instinct, I guess. Silas finally woke up around 9:30 and after breakfast and lots of hugs and kisses, the three of us said our "see ya laters". It sucked. Justin and I were both in tears, which was weird because out of all the times we've had to say "see ya later", he's never cried...well, not in front of me at least. But this time was different. This time, he wasn't just leaving me, but his mini me too. Silas didn't seem to care because he didn't really understand what was going on. Anyway, Justin drove for 10ish hours and spent the night in Texarkana, Texas Sunday night. He was back on the road bright and early the next morning and arrived in sunny San Antonio around 1:00 Monday afternoon. Thank God he made it safe and sound! He starts the 7 week long recruiter school early tomorrow morning. And when he graduates in June, it will be off to Hot Springs for 4 fun filled years. Let the adventure begin!!

It's been a long time since we've been apart for a long period of time. And as I said, this is a first for him being away from Silas. When we first got back from Oki, Justin had to go to school in Georgia for the railroad but it was only for 3 weeks and he was home every weekend. Not to mention, Silas was only 11 months old and had no idea what was going on. It's a little, well, a lot different now. We went from Silas being glued to Justin's hip everyday to Justin being 1000 miles away and Si asking "where's Daddy?" every 5 minutes. It's only been 2 days but it's been an ongoing adjustment.

When it was just Justin and I, no Silas, things were so different. When Justin had to deploy, or go TDY, or just work a billion hours a week, it only affected he and I. Then we threw Silas James into the mix. Now, every step we take, every action we make, affects Silas too. Thankfully, Justin has never had to be away from us for a long time until now. And since it's been so long since we've been apart, I'm having to not only readjust myself to being away from Justin, but also adjust Si to being away from his daddy and adjust to being the mom AND the dad for a while. I'm not going to call myself a single parent because that absolutely erks the crap out of me. No joke. Don't get me started. I'll save that rant for another day. The hardest part for me is when Si asks "Where's Daddy?". And so far he has done it every night before bed and every morning when he wakes up. It kills me! Justin and I both just wish he understood what was going on. Justin's biggest fear is that Silas is going to forget him or think that he has abandoned him. I know neither of those things are going to happen thanks to modern technology, but it breaks my heart that Justin feels that way.

I'm sure you're sitting there reading this and thinking that I'm just rambling on and on without getting to a point. And to tell you the truth, I'm venting. Virtually venting. And this probably won't be the first or the last time I virtually vent while Justin is gone so I'm going to just apologize in advance. But the point I'm trying to get at is that I now not only have respect for military wives with children, I absolutely admire every single one of them. Being a mom is a hard enough job. But being the mom AND the dad while your hubby is away to whereever for however long, keeping the house clean, the kids fed, bathed, alive etc, the laundry clean, the bills paid, and your sanity in tact (if you had any to begin with) is something to be proud of and those are the women (military spouses or not) that have my absolute, tee total, crazy respect. I didn't really think that having Silas and being away from Justin would be that much different than before, but boy was I wrong!! I'm trying to remind myself that I'm not the first military spouse/mom to go through this. And when I thought that for the first time, that's when it hit me at how much respect I have every military wife and mother.

So, this pointless, rambling post is dedicated to every mom out there, military spouse or not, that has had to do it all on her own while there hubby is serving and protecting. I give you all props and prayers for the things you do. Thanks for enduring my virtual vent!

Out With The Old. In With The Faith.

I realize that I haven't posted in two weeks. And to be honest, I really don't have an excuse other than just not getting around to it. I promise to do better though. Scouts honor.

 

Since October, we have moved twice. The first time was from Oakdale to Kingston. The second was from Kingston to Kingston...about 5 minutes down the road actually. It's a long story as to why we've moved twice in such a short period of time but we're not going to get into that right now. Since we've been moving and since we're about to move AGAIN, this time to a completely different state, we have been going through our storage unit and weeding out a bunch of crap that we should have gotten rid of a long time ago. We had tons of clothes, household stuff, a few small pieces of furniture, toys...you name it. We decided that we weren't going to take it all to Goodwill (nothing against it or anything) but instead to a church store called the Clothes Closet here in town. They take the money they make from the store and put it back into the church. Donating to a local church just seemed like the right thing to do. Not to mention it was within spitting distance from our house whereas Goodwill was a good 15- 20 minutes away. Any who, Justin and I cleaned out this huge pull behind trailer that was FULL of crap that we had accumulated over the past 5 years and took two truckloads of stuff to the church store. After we unloaded the last load, I got to talking to the guy that ran the store. I had seen him there every time I'd been in there browsing but we had never really talked other than just small talk. As Justin and I were looking around, I got to talking to this guy a little more in depth. We'll call him Bob. So, Bob and I got to talking about the store and he was telling me about all of the things that the store does other than giving the proceeds from the store to the church. Then, he started telling me his testimony. It was such an amazing story that I just can’t keep to myself so that's why I decided to blog about it. I know I'm going to leave some things out but I believe I can remember the high points of his story....well, the parts that stuck with me anyway. It goes a little something like this...

 

Bob had been living in Ashville and running his own business that he had built from the ground up. It was a remodeling company that worked for banks, fixing up and cosmetically repairing foreclosed houses and getting them ready to sale. He was a wealthy man with what seemed to be a seemingly perfect life. Big house. Nice stuff. Beautiful wife. He even had his masters degree in business management. All the things that most people only dream about. But then one day, his life fell apart and he lost it all. His long time friend and business partner took the company's entire client list, emptied the bank account and took off to start his own business, leaving Bob to fend for himself and pick up the pieces. As you can imagine, he lost his business and was broke. Almost immediately after losing his business, he got very sick and was admitted to the hospital for two weeks. When he was discharged, he went home only to find that his house had ironically been foreclosed on and he wasn't even able to get inside to get any of his belongings. Obviously, his things had been foreclosed on as well. In the midst of his life crumbling, his wife decided to leave him. This poor man had nothing. No business. No money. No house. And no wife. Nothing. Things became so bad that poor Bob became homeless. He was living under bridges and staying in homeless shelters here and there when he came across one. Bob's brother lived in Clinton and also didn't have much. He did however, have an old, run down car that he gave to Bob that became his home. He was always looking and asking for spare change so he could buy gas and food. One day, he came through Kingston (where the church store ministry is). And like I said, I can't remember all of the details, but somehow he came to the church store. They gave him something to eat, a clean change of clothes, and a warm place to sleep. In return, Bob volunteered at the church store since it was mostly ran by older church ladies and was on a volunteer only basis. He started attending church with them and they eventually gave him the manager position at the store...the only paid position there was. They helped him get back on his feet, helped him get into a low income apartment just minutes down the road and furnished it with donations from the store, replenished his wardrobe from donations, and helped him become financially stable again. This church and its ministry saved Bob's life.

 

I'm sure you're probably wondering why in the world I decided to post about this man's life and thinking that it's not even that big of a deal. But I haven't told you the best part of his story yet. The entire time he was telling me about the tough road he has been on for the last two years, he kept a smile on his face. He would tell me about something bad that happened, but directly after, he would say "But I knew God was with me". When he started telling me about how he came to be with the church and how they had helped him get back on his feet, he kept saying "God is just so good". So, the entire time I'm standing there listening to this man's amazing testimony, I'm thinking about how amazing his faith in God was during it all. After everything that poor man had been through, he never gave up. He kept his eyes on the Lord and had faith that he would be taken care of and that God would provide for him. And that's exactly what He did. God knew what he was doing when Bob's business went under and he lost everything. Bob's life may have been hard for a while and went in the exact opposite direction that he had planned, but the path that God put him on lead him to right where he was meant to be. All the hard times, all the heartbreak, everything that Bob had been through was all part of God's plan and he had faith in His plan the whole time. His faith in God never faltered and that's what got him through it all. He could have very easily given up. He could have turned to drugs and/or alcohol, or even worse, he could have given up completely and tried to end his life. But he didn't. Instead, he trusted to Lord.

 

The point that I'm trying to make is that if more people in the world had the trust and faith in God that Bob has/had, the world wouldn't be in the state that it is in today. If we would stop trying to fix things ourselves and stop going down our own path and just let God take the reins, maybe things wouldn't be so bad. If we would stop letting the devil interfere in our lives and let God come in instead, I know that the world would be a better place. God gave his son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross to save us from our sins and to keep us from spending eternity in a sinner’s hell. The least we can do in return is trust Him. When things get hard, it's easy to lose faith. It's easier to just give up instead of saying "Okay, God. Things are hard but I know you're in control. Just help me to keep my faith strong and to know that you're in control". Easier said than done but once you do, it's worth it. I have been working on strengthen my faith and becoming closer to God and I feel Him working in my life and heart every single day. Things that I use to constantly fret about and try to handle myself, I hardly give them a thought now. I'm not saying that my life is perfect by any means. I'm just saying that since I've given my heart to God and put my full faith in Him, I feel as if a weight has been lifted and that I can conquer the world with Him on my side. Wouldn't it be nice to always have someone on your side all the time? Someone that will never leave you or steer you in the wrong direction? You can. Just trust Him and know that he loves you enough to die for you. He is the best friend we could ever ask for. All you have to do is trust him. If God is for you, who can be against you? Think about it...

 

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

So, today is a bittersweet day for me. Well, more sweet than bitter. Today is Silas' second birthday! Ah! I can't believe my 10 pound, 22.5 inch baby boy is already two years old. It doesn't seem real. Seriously, where does the time go?! It feels like just yesterday that I saw two pink lines pop up on that pee stick! Not to mention going through such a hard time in the beginning, being pregnant in the Okinawa heat and humidity, and enduring nearly 26 hours of labor. It just doesn't seem real that it's already been that long.

We had his birthday party this past Saturday. I invited all of our family and a lot of friends. But the weather was super cold and yucky so the majority of the people (minus family) ended up not coming. Understandable, I guess. I had been planning his party for a few weeks because A) I wanted everything to be perfect and B) I'm an OCD planning freak. The "theme" of his party was all about Silas...just as it should've been. I didn't do a character theme this year like I did last year because the only real characters he is into at this moment is Toy Story and Cars...and I didn't want to do either of those because I'm SO sick of them both. AND themed party supplies are way too expensive!! So I just did lots of bright colors and pictures of Si. It turned out so cute and not to mention, I got all of the party decorations at the Dollar Tree for under $28! Score!!! The day of the actual party was a bit stressful for this OCD momma. I waited till the last minute to order a cake (so not like me, by the way) because I was trying to compare prices and get the best deal. FYI...CostCo has the best prices on cakes and they are absolutely delish! Any who, I went to Knoxville to get the cake. Came home and got ready while Silas napped. Went to Food City to get chips and dip (per Justin's request) and balloons, then headed to the community center to start setting up. And this all took place before 1:00! (Now do you see why I was a bit stressed?!) Thankfully, my Gee Gee (my grandma) met me there to help me so I didn't loose my entire mind! She actually helped me plan the whole thing. She's the bomb! We set up the food. Hung decorations. Hung Silas pictures all over the wall and were ready to party down. Things seemed to be coming together perfectly. Until I realized that it was almost 2:00 and the photographer that I hired (just a local photographer. Nothing professional) hadn't shown up yet when she was supposed to be there at 1:30. She was at Si's party last year taking pictures so that that was one less thing for me to have to do. It worked out great so I asked her to do it again this year. I just thought she was running a bit late...until 30 minutes into the party and she STILL wasn't there. Anyway, long story short, she didn't show, didn't call or anything and I didn't get the pictures that I wanted. Oh well. Thankfully, my Grandmother, who takes awesome pictures, was there to take a few snapshots for me. Other than that little unprofessional incident that I am still pretty ticked off about, his party went off without a hitch. He got lots of goodies and cute summer clothes and got to have all of his favorite people in the same room. It was so heart warming to see so many people come out to share this special time with us and show how much they love Silas. Seeing him run around laughing and smiling made the stress of planning it all worth it.

Even though today is his actual birthday, the date that's on his birth certificate (March 4th), we kind of celebrated yesterday on the 3rd as well. Why you ask? Well, he was born at 4:45 am on March 4th in Japan, which was actually 2:45 pm on March 3rd in Tennessee. So, he technically has two birthdays! Well, not really, but it gives us a reason to celebrate for another day!

Today, his ACTUAL birthday, Justin and I took him to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga. We left around his nap time so he slept the whole way, about an hour and a half. So, thankfully when we got there, he was in a great mood! We got there and got our tummies full, then spent two hours admiring the "sish". Silas had a blast! We all did! On our way home, Silas fell asleep again so we had another peaceful car ride home. Now, we're laying around watching Cars and playing with his new monster trucks (such a little boy!)...a perfect end to a perfect day!

I sometimes look at Silas in utter disbelief that he is actually mine. We made that. He's ours. Forever and ever. How blessed am I?! Thinking about the past two years and how our lives have changed so drastically, I just sit back and smile because that sweet little blond hair, blue eyed boy sitting in the floor playing is the reason for all the wonderful change that's happened. It just makes me sad how fast the past two years have flown by. I know this may sound like a huge cliche and every parent may say it, but I honestly do not remember what my life was like before Silas...nor do I want to remember. He is my life. He is my world. He is my happiness and strength. He completes me. I think God every single day for blessing me with this amazing, sweet, handsome, sometimes too smart for his own good little boy. God has given me more than I deserve...and sometimes more than I can handle!! Just kidding!! :) I wouldn't change a thing!

To all of my friends reading this that have just had a baby or are about to have a baby, cherish every single second of being pregnant and their babyhood. Sleepless night and getting crapped and spat on may suck now, but trust me, you will miss it one day. Do not take one single baby snuggle for granted because before too long, they won't sit still long enough for you to snuggle them. Enjoy the time you have with them while they are bitty babies, but also look forward to things to come. Having a tiny baby is great, but when they get to the talking running, playing stage, it gets even better. And SO much more fun!! But like I said, don't take a single baby moment for granted and cherish every moment with them as a tiny baby. Because in the words of Darius Rucker, "It wont be like this for long".

Happy Birthday my sweet boy!

New Kid In Town

I've made a lot of sweet friends on Twitter and Facebook that are brand new military wives and are just getting their feet wet in this crazy life. They are a big part of my inspiration to start this blog. So today's post is dedicated to them...and all of the other new military spouses who may be reading this.

Being a young wife can be a little intimidating. But being a young military wife can be extremely intimidating! As if learning to be a wife wasn't hard enough, becoming a military wife comes with it's own rule book. It's a lot to take in and get use to. I've had a couple of girls ask me if they would get looked down upon or made fun of because they were so young. But once you get around other military wives, you will see that you're not the only 19 or 20 year old newlywed. Justin and I got married when we were 19. He wasn't even out of Tech School when we had to get married. And when I say "had", I mean the Air Force timing made us do it sooner rather than later.

After we got married, I got thrown into the military life head first without anyone telling me how to feel or what to expect. I was a bit nervous at first about getting married and going at this so young, but before we left for Oki, I talked to a good friend of mine that had been in the Air Force for years and years and he told me that being young and having to elope was just a normal to do in the military. It happens everyday. That made me feel a little better so I wasn't as nervous about being so young. Besides that, I got thrown into this lifestyle without any advice and having no clue as to what to expect. I kind of just winged it at first and went with the flow, learning as I went. From what I can recall, I wasn't intimidated by other wives, the commissary, BX, etc. Back then I had a little more confidence than what I do now and I just figured that since this was going to me by life for the next 20 or so years, I'd better get use to it. It did take some time to learn all the rules, regulations, acronyms, ranks, and all of that other fun junk that every new military wife learns. But once you ease your way into things and get into the swing of things, the life that you once saw as intimidating and impossible to learn becomes your new normal.

It's all a constant learning process. Justin's been in for 5 years and I'm still learning and probably will continue to learn until he's out. It's completely normal to feel scared about being "new", whether it's new to a base or if you're new to the military. A way to make things easier is to find other wives that are new and are feeling the same way. Finding friends is a remedy for any military situation that you're going through because they're just like you and are going through the exact same things and feelings. Don't let the things that scare you keep you from branching out and do things. It's the only way to become familiar with things and the way they work. You will find your own ways of getting use to things. You will get the hang of it and once you do, you will see that all the things that you once thought was scary is just an every day thing in your life now.

From Afghanistan, With Love

As you can probably tell from the title, this post is about the dreaded D word. No, not divorce. Deployment. I know no one wants to even think about it, let alone talk about it. I'll tell you our deployment story and try to give some helpful advice that I learned to try and make the D word more tolerable.

Flash back to February 2009. We had been in Okinawa for less than two months. We were finally getting into a routine and getting our life as husband and wife together and looking forward to no more interruptions. Justin was still doing rotationals and was learning the ins and outs of each branch of his job. I wasn't working yet but was keeping myself occupied with making our house a home, making new friends, and getting involved in the base community. Life was good. Later that month, rumors started to circle about a deployment that Justin's "bucket" was supposed to go on. I was trying not to think much of it because Justin was told he wouldn't deploy the first year we were at Kadena. Lies, all lies. Soon after the rumors started, Justin came home looking like he had the weight of the world on him. I knew something was up and I knew it had to do with this stupid deployment. He said that he was more than likely getting deployed but didn't know for sure when and where he would go. But let me back up just a bit...

Justin had a superior in his shop that happened to have the same last name as us, MSgt McCullough-Cruz. From the day she found out that a fellow McCullough was coming to the island and was going to be in the same shop, she looked out for us. I called her Momma McCullough! She always kept me in the loop with things going on around the shop and explained military things to me (since I was absolutely clueless at this point!). From the day all of the deployment rumors started, she told me she would be the first to tell me what was going on, if, when, and where Justin was going, etc. She didn't want to me hear things second hand or get wrong information, so anytime she found something out, she let me know.

Okay, I had to tell you about her before I went on with the rest of my story.You'll see why in a second. So, early March time frame we were still in the dark about a definite answer on the deployment. I was hoping that if we didn't talk about it, it would just go away. It doesn't work that way, unfortunately. While Justin was at work one day, Momma McCullough called me at home while I was in the middle of stress cleaning (I'd been doing that since I first heard the D word). I answered the phone and as soon as I heard her voice, I knew what she was going to say. Justin was going to Afghanistan. Crap. I tried to keep my composure because she may have been a friend to me, but she was still Justin's superior. When Justin got home, he knew that I knew because A) The house was spotless and B) There wasn't a drop of make up left on my face. He just hugged me and apologized. I hated to see him so upset and apologetic over something that was out of his control. I was mad and pouted for the next few days but had to eventually pull myself together because acting like a baby wasn't going to stop him from going. Justin had enough on his plate and seeing me torn up was the last thing he needed. We had two months before he had to go so I put my big girl panties on and got to work on the pre-deployment checklist. Fun stuff, let me tell ya! While Justin worked during the day, I got as much done on his checklist that I could, all while trying to decide whether I was going to stay in Oki or go back to Tennessee while he was gone. Decisions, decisions. With only a few weeks to go before he left, we decided that going home and being with our family would be the best thing for me. But looking back, I wish I would have stayed in Oki while he was gone for a few different reasons. I'll discuss that in a later post. Anyway, the day before Justin was scheduled to leave, I got on a Space A flight to the states (another interesting topic that I will discuss at a later time). Sitting in that terminal waiting to board the plane was torture. I knew that I only had a few minutes with my husband before we had to say our "see ya laters" and be away from each other for 5 months. They finally called final boarding but I didn't want to let go of Justin. I couldn't stand the thought of him going to a war zone and me not being there to take care of him. I hated it. I hated everything. He was trying so hard to keep it together and to be strong for me because Lord knows I was crying enough for the both of us. I walked to the gate and tried so hard not to turn around to see him, but I did. I saw him standing there with tears in his eyes as he looked at me with that little side ways grin that I love. That was the last time I saw him for five long months. When I boarded the huge KC 135, I was more than ready to get out of there and get this time apart started and over with. But we sat on the tarmac for four hours while they tried to fix the GPS systems. Ugh. More torture. When we finally took off, I was so tired from crying that I passed out on the cold, hard floor of this massive, loud plane. I work up long enough to eat the sack lunch that I paid $5 for then I went back to sleep. When I woke, we were about 30 minutes out from landing. I finally made it home two days later (again, Space A is another topic for another day). Being back with my family made things easier and helped pass the time a little quicker. But being around his sweet family reminded me of him and made me miss him even more.

Fast forward five months. This whole deployment bull crap was almost over and I was finally on a plane back to our home in Okinawa. I decided to get there a couple of weeks before him so I could get things ready for when he got back. I still had no idea what day he would be home because he had to go all around the dang world just to get back to Okinawa. I finally received a call from him when he got to Tokyo. We were finally in the same country! He said his flight came in the next morning! *insert happy dance here* Obviously, I was too excited to sleep so I stayed up the majority of the night trying to decide what to wear! It's a girl thing! When I got to the airport, I was as giddy as a school girl and couldn't get the big cheesy grin off of my face! I stood at his gate and waited for what felt like hours, cheesy smile still in place. When I heard the dinging noise and heard the Japanese voice come over the intercom announcing that his finally had touched down, I felt tears coming on. Happy tears of course! Then it happened. I finally saw my Airman walking out of the terminal. THAT was the moment that I absolutely lost it! I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He barely made it out of the terminal when I attacked him! He was back. My happiness. My love. My best friend. My Airman. My husband. I was on my happy cloud and there was nothing in this world that could have knocked me off of it.  It felt so good to have him by my side again and knowing that he was safe. I was so relieved. Life was complete again.

I didn't get into the details of the difficulties that I went though with missing Justin. Everyone faces their own struggles but we all feel the same way...we miss them and feel like a part of us is missing when they are gone. I'm going to try and give some advice to those who are about to face their first deployment. Here are some things that helped me.

-Whether you go back to be with your family while your loved is deployed or you stay at where ever you are stationed, try to keep yourself busy. Go out with friends (the mature way), get involved within the base, get a part time job. Just do anything other than sit around and wallow in your sadness. That gets you nowhere and makes time pass slower.

-Try to send him an email or letter at least everyday. Just to let him know about your day and to tell him you're thinking about him. But try to keep it positive. He doesn't need any more stress than he already has.

-Technology is a beautiful thing. Skype as often as possible if he has the capability. Again, try to keep your conversations positive.

-Send care packages. When I sent Justin packages, I put love letters, cards, pictures, snacks, and just things to let him know I was thinking about him. Sometimes, I even sent extra so he could share with the guys in his shop. Just be sure to find out before hand of the things that you can and cannot send. Don't want to get in trouble with customs or get your man in trouble.

-Write in a journal. Justin and I each had a journal to jot down our thoughts and stuff. When we were reunited, we swapped journals and read what each others thoughts. We really enjoyed it. And it was a good way to get all of your feelings out and for your spouse to know what you were thinking and feeling while you were apart.

-Stay positive. Try not to watch the news. It will just freak you out. Don't think the worst when you haven't heard from him in a few days. He's busy. Don't let your thoughts and worries get the best of you because it will eat you up inside and make you miserable.

-Don't isolate yourself. Find friends that are going through the same things you are and just be each others support.

-Remember that he misses you just as much, if not more than you miss him. He is going through the same feelings and emotions as you are a top of everything else he's facing with being in a war zone.

That's the best advice that I can think of at the moment. When and if you ever have to face a deployment, you will find your own ways to cope and to make it easier. Just remember, you're strong and if you really love and support your man, you will kick that deployments butt and it will end up just being another memory and another thing to be proud of!

Amazing Miracles

So, I want to talk about something personal. Something that absolutely changed our lives and just one of the many things that made us realize how great God truly is. Gather up some tissue because this one is a long tear jerker. Here goes...

Remember the story of how we found out I was pregnant? Well, there's a little more to that story then what I revealed. A few days after those two pink lines popped up on the pee stick, we were still over the moon with happiness. We had found out that I was 5 weeks along and that was about all we knew at this point. Still so very happy though!  But that happiness turned into overwhelming fear a week afterwards. I got up one morning and was very dizzy and light headed. I was also pretty nauseous but I just assumed that these symptoms we just normal pregnancy annoyances, so I tried to brush them off.  But as the day progressed, so did my symptoms. I guess my motherly instinct kicked in early because I just knew something was wrong. I decided that I needed to go to the emergency room just to make sure everything was okay with the baby. I was so dizzy that I didn't think I needed to drive but Justin was at work. So I called my amazing friend Sara and she was sweet enough to take me and sit with me in the ER until Justin got off of work. So when we got there, the Corpsman came in, took my vitals, asked what the problem was, took blood and made me pee in a cup. Lieutenant Mameninski, the OB on call at the ER that night, decided to do a vaginal ultrasound just to be on the safe side. Fun stuff, huh? I still felt like crap but was trying to stay positive and not let my worries get the best of me. When he started the ultrasound, his face turned very serious and he turned the screen away from me. He pulled the Corpsman aside and gave him orders to take me down to have a sonogram. At this point, just judging from the look on every one's faces, I could tell that something was wrong with either the baby, or with myself. The whole time, Sara was holding my hand and trying her best to keep me calm (how lucky was I to have her there?!). During the sonogram, the screen was turned to where I couldn't see it, just like the other one was. Way to freak a pregnant lady out! It lasted for about 15 minutes and when it was over, the radiology lady tried to seem chipper (she didn't do a very good job) and told me they were going to send everything they had gathered to the doctors/hospital at Hickam AFB in Hawaii so they could get a better look and give us their opinion on the situation. Situation? There's a situation? I had no idea since everyone was tip toeing around me and not telling me a dang thing. So, they wheeled me back to my room and told me it was going to be a little while before they heard anything from Hawaii. We had been there since about 5:00 pm and it was around 9:00 or 10:00 at this point. Justin was working nights. Just wanted to clear that up ;)  Anyway,we had some time to kill so Sara was trying to keep me calm by showing me stupid YouTube videos and playing some music. It helped up until the point when the nurse came in an hour or so later and said that my husband needed to get there ASAP. Ah, crap. THAT'S when I knew something was way wrong. She said she would call him and they would talk to us about what was going on when he arrived. The hospital wasn't on Kadena (the base we lived on). It was on a Naval base a few miles down the road. Only about a 10 minute drive from Justin's shop. As I waited for Justin to get there, my mind was going nuts and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I wasn't expecting Justin to show until at least 45 minutes since he had to find someone to cover for him at work and all but about 15 minutes after the nurse got off the phone with him, he came running through the door. My hero! Sara hugged me and I thanked her for bringing me and being there for me, then she went on her way. The doctor came in and gave us news that expecting parents never want to hear. There was a baby in there but they couldn't find it. They believed that I had an ectopic pregnancy and that he was still in my fallopian tube. We were crushed. Justin was trying so hard to keep it together for me and held my hand the whole time. They told me that there was an extremely small chance that the baby would work his way down into my uterus but they were going to give him a chance. Thankfully, Dr. Mameninski promised us that he would be my doctor from there on out and throughout my whole pregnancy and so on. Thank the Lord. I had always heard stories from people that had babies on Oki that you never see the same doctor twice and you never know who will deliver your baby. He was truly God sent and we were so blessed to have him. Anyway, he ordered me to go home and rest and to come back to the hospital every 6 days to get blood work done. If my hormone levels had doubled like they were supposed to, that meant things were going the way they should and that the baby was working his way down. But just in case my levels weren't doubling, I needed to pack an overnight bag so I could have surgery to remove the baby. Talk about terrifying. I signed the discharge papers around 1:00 am and had to compose myself before we left. We were completely silent on the ride home, just the sounds of me sucking up snot and trying not to cry. When we got home, I let the dog out and was getting ready for bed. When I walked into the bedroom, I saw Justin knelt next to the bed on his knees, crying and praying. The water works came back on full force when he grabbed my hand and pulled me down with him. We prayed for God's will to be done and for him to give us the strength and faith we needed to get through this and to watch over this child that we wanted so badly. After we prayed, we got in bed and Justin held me and we both cried ourselves to sleep. The next few days were rough. I rested for a couple of days before going back to work. Six days after we left the ER, I packed my dreaded overnight bag and we headed to the hospital to have my first round of blood work done. I got my arm pricked and we impatiently waited for the results. Dr. Mameninski came in the waiting room, results in hand and a smile on his face and gave us the good news...my levels had doubled. Praise the Lord! He told us not to get too excited just yet because we still had three weeks of blood work and not knowing ahead of us. If my levels continued to double, he was going to do an ultrasound after the four weeks to see where and how the baby was. So every week for the next month, we went to the hospital, overnight bag in tow, and continued to get good news. But we were trying to restrain from getting excited just in case something went wrong. Week four finally came and my hormone levels along with everything else were exactly where they needed to be. Dr. Mameninski did the ultrasound and there he was. Our little miracle. He was in there. We both burst into happy tears and then smiled when we saw him wiggle and give us the thumbs up. Our baby was okay, and already had a sense of humor and was keeping us on our toes! Dr. Mameninski was just as shocked as we were and said that the odds of something like this happening were highly unlikely, but that God was watching over us and our little miracle child. The rest of my pregnancy was pretty easy. No more complications, until about an hour after I delivered and the day after.

Right before I started pushing, I had a 103 fever that I just couldn't break. After two hours of pushing, Silas finally decided to grace us with his presence. Seeing him take his first breath and hearing his first cry was the most relieving feeling. He was finally here and was okay. But since I had had a high fever when I delivered, it transmitted to him. And because he was so big (10 lbs 22.5 in), he was having a very hard time regulating his blood sugar. He was in the room with us for about a hour and we got to hold him for a few minutes each, then they rushed him to the NICU when his blood sugar drastically dropped to 20. Again, panic set in. They put a huge IV in his little newborn head and I didn't get to see him for the first 24 hours of his life. Once they took him to the NICU and got both of us squared away, Justin went home to shower, let the dog out, eat, rest, and call everyone to give them the good news. About 20 minutes after he left, I crashed. I asked the nurse to help me to the bathroom (first time I'd been out of bed in nearly 30 hours). Once I got up and got in there, I sat down and a huge soccer ball sized blood clot fell out of me (sorry for putting that image in your mind but I'm just being truthful!). I looked up at the nurse and said "I'm about to pass out". And that's exactly what I did. Boom! I hit the floor....hard! When I finally came to nearly 3 hours later, I was hooked up to heart monitors, IVs and oxygen. I had no idea what had happened. All they told me was that I had lost a lot of blood and that I passed out. Well, duh! I knew that. Anyway, I started doing better so they took me back and got me settled into postpartum. But I still hadn't seen Silas. After I got settled in, they finally let me shower and eat. While I was doing that,  Justin told me he was going to go down to the NICU to check on Silas and that he'd be right back. Over an hour later, Justin came strutting through the door with a HUGE smile on his face and told me that he got to hold Silas, give him a bath, feed him, and rock him to sleep. Oh, I was crushed! I burst into tears because I had barely gotten to see him and let alone all of those things. I could have killed him (looking back, I'm kind of glad he got that special alone time with him). But Justin told me that after I got some rest and recovered from my little spell I had earlier and gained some strength, I could go down that night after supper. Later that night, Justin wheeled me down there and explained to me before we saw him that he had a huge port in his head and was hooked up to an IV and that I just needed to brace myself to see him like that. After what felt like a never ending wheel chair ride to the NICU, I finally got to see my baby boy. He was perfect...even with a huge IV in his head. It was so hard as a new mom to see him with that big thing in his head and hooked up to stuff, but I was so happy and blessed that after all we had been through in the beginning, he was here and was healthy and happy. I was in heaven with my little family. We stayed with him for about an hour before I had to go back to my room. They kept Silas over night in the NICU which was a blessing in disguise because I got to sleep all night...with the exception of the nurse coming in every few hours taking my vitals and to shove iron pills down my throat. The next morning, Silas' blood sugar was finally back to normal and he was discharged from the NICU. I finally got to hold him and love on him like I'd been waiting to for 9 months. We ended up staying another night at the hospital because of both of our complications. We finally got to go home early the next afternoon and I cant tell you how relieved I was that all that medical drama non sense was over and that we finally had our miracle baby home.

As I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes reliving it all, Silas is cuddled up next to me watching Cars and talking away. He is proof that God is so amazing. He gave us this beautiful child that the doctors said would never make it. He heard our prayers and knew how much we wanted this child. The struggles that we went through at the beginning of my pregnancy and after Silas was born was a test of our faith. God knew what he was doing. He had our baby in his hands the whole time. I love Silas James more than words can ever explain and thank God every single day for him. He truly is our miracle child and proof that miracles happen everyday and that there is a God. God is good...all the time.

The first picture of baby Silas. If you look closely,

you can see a tiny thumbs up.

This is our first picture together...and a glance of what 26 hours

 of labor looks like. I could have stayed in the moment forever.

Is this not the most pitiful thing?! Heartbreaking to a new mother.

 

You Know You're Stationed Overseas When....

Being a brand new military spouse is a challenge within itself. There are certain little things that you pick up on pretty quickly through. Things like avoiding the commissary and BX on pay day. Knowing your husbands social security number better than you know your own (and thinking long and hard when someone actually asks for yours). And avoiding being outside or on the road at 5:00 for retreat. But when you throw living overseas into the mix, it just ads to the never ending list of things you have to learn. Being 19, brand new to the military community, AND living in a different country far different from East Tennessee, I was overwhelmed with not only the mass amounts of Air Force rules and regs that I needed to learn and obey, but the Japanese cultural and customs as well. I guess you could say we caught on pretty fast. We really didn't have a choice. You either learn it and live it, or don't learn it and never leave your house. I chose to learn it.

Here are some things that I learned about being a military spouse and being stationed overseas:
-You always have two kinds of currency with you at all times. Cash and the currency of your hosting country. In our case, it was yen.
-You've learned not to shop at the BX for clothes unless you want to have multiple twins.
-If you want to make a doctors appointment for anytime soon, you will get up at 0600 and start calling the clinic.
-You know better than to try and go off base at quitting time (1700ish). Not only is the gate slammed, but off base traffic is unbearable.
-You know everything there is to know about what you can and cannot mail.
-Online shopping is a breeze. All of your favorite sites already have your credit card information saved so with just one click, it's on its way.
-Exciting news that you want to tell your family has to wait until it's a decent hour where they are.
-Going to the post office and seeing that little yellow slip in your mail box is the highlight of your day/week.
-If you want to send a package to someone for their birthday etc. in the states, send it a week or two ahead of time to ensure that it will get there in time.
-Going to the post office anytime after Thanksgiving is like a suicide mission.
-You start online Christmas shopping six months ahead of time.
-Finding out what tomorrows exchange rate is either makes you happy or sad.
- If you want a bag of real potatoes, you will put up with having at pay $14 a bag.
-You get use to having to explain customs forms to your family when they send you packages and hearing them ask every time they call "Did you get my package yet?".
-You have learned just enough of your hosting country's language to barely scape by and get your point across.
- Utilizing space just comes natural after a while.
-Laughing when new comers freak out when they hear a typhoon is coming and stock up on canned food and water.
-Feeling earthquakes so often that it doesn't even phase you.
-Buying holiday food supplies weeks ahead of time and having to re plan your menu when the commissary doesn't have the things you need.
-Getting lost on a beautiful Saturday just so you can see new sites becomes one of your favorite things to do on the weekends.
-Driving on the wrong side of the road freaks you out....once. Then it just comes natural.
-Getting pissed when you find out some guys got drunk and screwed up over the weekend and now we all have to pay for it.
-Protesters outside the gates.
-The sounds of KC-135s and F15s flying over your house at all hours of the night and day and rattling your windows becomes comforting after a while.
-Getting use to having a base wide LORE every few months that ruins your life for a whole week.

Oh, I could go on and on but I believe I'll stop there. I'm sure you lovely ladies can probably think of a ton more but my brain hurts! Let me know if you have any to add! I would love to hear them!

Now it's time to be productive and get some crap done. Have a great day y'all!

Best Friends Forever

You know when you're in high school and you say/ think that you and your friends will be friends forever, but then you eventually drift apart? But if you're lucky, you have a few that you still talk to or see on occasion? Having close military friends is like that...in no way whatsoever.

Like I've told y'all before, I was 19 when Justin and I got married and moved to Japan. I left all of my friends that I have had since Kindergarten. I was worried that when we got to Okinawa, I wouldn't make friends really well. Which was an absolutely crazy thing to think, because if you have ever met me, you know that I am probably the most talkative person on the planet and could make friends in hell. I have no idea why I thought that. Nerves, maybe? Any who, when I got to Japan, it took me a while to actually put my self out there and try to meet people and make friends, even though I was perfectly capable of it. I was in a terrible frame of mind for a while after we got there so I wasn't really trying. But, one day in the commissary, I asked a stupid question to a random stranger that just so happened to become one of my very nearest and dearest friends on the entire planet. And it goes a little something like this....

I had been in Japan for about a month. We had just moved into our apartment so I had yet to meet anyone living in our building...or go to the grocery store. One day, I just got so sick of eating at the food court that I decided I was going to make a pot of chili. But we had absolutely nothing in our house to eat except for coffee and pop tarts. That doesn't exactly make for a good meal. So I had to take a little life changing trip to the commissary. It was the first time I'd been to actually grocery shop instead of just going in to grab a thing or two and run out. So, there I was, wondering up and down each isle looking for chili ingredients. I was looking for tomato sauce and could not for the life of me find it. I finally broke down and asked someone to point me in the right direction. And from that moment on, my life was forever changed. The girl that I asked was so sweet and friendly and helped me right away (She didn't work there in case you are wondering. Just some random shopper). I also asked a stupid question about tomatoes but I can't remember what it was. I just remember that she laughed at me! After she took me to the all things tomato isle, we chit chatted for a bit then went our separate ways, never expecting to see one another again. Later that evening, we had the front door open and the screen door closed to let in some fresh Okinawa air. I was in the kitchen making my chili concoction when I heard a knock on the door. Justin answered it, then yelled for me to come to the door. When I turned the corner and looked out the door, I saw my sweet, bubbly commissary buddy standing there introducing herself as our neighbor! I was so surprised and so happy that the random stranger that was kind enough to help me find my way in the commissary lived right across the way from me! From that day forward, we were inseparable. She was my very first and very best friend that I made on Okinawa and in the military. And still to this day we are best friends. We can go days on end without talking to one another but as soon as we do talk, it's like we never skipped a beat. We have seen each other through so much. Ups and downs. Good and Bad. Drunk and sober. She is my other soul mate and I love her dearly! I got lost in the commissary for a reason that day. It was so God could put my amazing friend, Ashley, in my life. She is my Dirka Dirka for life and I love her, always.

As I got more and more comfortable with the island and with meeting people, I made a lot of good friends that I will never forget and will always love. Especially my POL girlfriends! The guys that Justin worked with and their wives quickly became our family. Every holiday was spent at our friends, the Wisemans, every year. It made being away from our families over the holidays so much more bearable. We would always have a big meal and sit around talking and enjoying each others company. The guys would eventually wonder off with their cold ones to the "man cave" to throw darts or play cards while the girls stayed down stairs and sipped wine. As much as I love being home for the holidays, I will always remember and love the holidays we spent with our military family.

When I started working at Human Resources office on base, I meet a woman that not only became my friend, but my island mom! She was/is my rock. She saw me through me through everything and was always there every step of the way. I honestly don't know how I would have made it through my pregnancy without her. I still call her my island mom and she is Silas' "Mae Mae"! We still talk all the time and we even go to Louisiana to see her sometimes. I love her more than she probably knows and am beyond thankful that God placed her, as well as all of my Oki loves, in my life.

Even through military friendships are one of the greatest blessings of being in the service, it's also one of the hardest. You get so close to these people and become a family with them all, that when it's time to say "see ya later", it tears your heart out. Unfortunately, that's just part of it. But, if you are lucky enough to have friends as great as ours, the distance between you means nothing. I still talk to almost all of my lovely ladies that I met in Okinawa and Justin still talks to a lot of his buddies, even though we are spread all over the globe now (Social networking is the greatest). The friends that you make in the military, especially those you make while stationed overseas, will be your friends for life and will always feel more like family. It's a bond that can't be broken. I look forward to the new friends that I will make in the future, but will never forget the family we made in Okinawa.

POL Wives. Love them all.

My fellow POL wife, Cynthia. Love her.

My 22nd birthday dinner with some pretty amazing ladies.



Me and my Island Mom, Mary

Sweet Sara and I at Maragaritaville

My very first friend, Ashley! Love you Dirka Dirka!

Home Is Where You Make It

So, now that I'm done rambling on about my boring life, we're going to move onto bigger and better things. Today's topic: Making a military house a home. Doesn't sound fun, but we're going to make it fun! Here goes!

When we first got to Japan, the first thing we needed to do was obviously find a place to live. Before our appointment to look at houses with a housing office agent, I had been observing the different neighborhoods and houses all around base. The houses on Kadena, well all Okinawa bases really, were different. Since Okinawa is such a small island prone to typhoons, the houses had to be sturdy. And by golly, that's exactly what they were! They were big concrete blocks with a bathroom and kitchen carved in the middle. Well, not exactly, but they were concrete and super sturdy. We lived through countless typhoons in our little on base apartment and never felt a thing. The worse thing that a typhoon ever did to us or our house was over flow our toilet with sewage. Okay, Kayla. Get your ADD under control and get back on track! Any who, the houses that we had saw in passing seemed relatively nice, the newer ones did anyway. A lot of the houses/duplexs/apartments were in the process of being renovated from the time we got there until the day we left. When we drove up to the first option that was offered to us, I looked at Justin and said "Is this a joke?". It looked like the ghetto of Kadena. For real. We went in and I was blown away, and not in a good way. It was old and not up to date and just not what I expected. But before I could turn it down, we had to look at our next/last option. Yeah, we only got to options. The second apartment was right down the road from the "ghetto" and was a wee bit nicer. We went inside and I was far more impressed than I was with the first one. I decided in my mind that this one was better than the crap we'd seen before and that this was going to be our first home together. But what sold me on the place was the view. The apartment was on a hill and you could see the entire flight line AND the beach from our front and back yard. I was sold. Justin liked the first crap hole but I told him there was no way that I was going to live in a place that I considered the "bad part of town" (It really wasn't that bad. It was just that damn jet lag and PMS again). That day, we signed on the dotted line and it was a done deal. We had our first house together. And the best part...it was free! No rent. No utilities. Notta. Sweet.

Military housing isn't always bad. I've been to bases where the housing is unbelievably nice, and others where you'd be better off living in a box...or off base, of course. We had the option of living off base but at the time, I was afraid to go off base by myself, let alone live off base. (I was extremely close minded in the beginning).

For all you new military wives, what I will refer to you as newbies to make it easier, just keep a few things in mind when choosing a house. And bare in mind that I'm only talking about on base housing at the moment because we have never lived off base.
Numero Uno: Things aren't always going to meet your expectations. Take my story as a perfect example. Just keep an open mind about it and think about what potential it may have.
Numero Duo: Whatever place you choose will be completely empty. No furniture. No essentials. Nothing but appliances and bare, base colored walls. It's up to you to furnish your new place and to provide the essentials that you will need. I'll get into that more when we talk about PCSing. Coming soon...
Numero three: No matter what your new place looks like, old or new, crappy or happy, you can always make it your own. Spruce it up with some paint and decorations. Plant some flowers in the yard. Throw a colorful rug on the bare floors. Just do whatever you have to do to make it homey to you.

And last but not least, remember the name of this post because it is 100,000% true. Home is where you make it. Contrary to popular belief, home isn't where you're family is or where you're from. Nope. You're a military wife now and home is where the military sends you and most importantly, home is where your husband is.

They may sound simple and obvious, but it is the best advice I can give to turning a house into a home. Check out the pictures of our house in Oki and see what I mean about turning it into your own. The top picture is our "quad-plex". Ours was the one on the bottom. 5454B Gabreski St. The second picture is the view from of the base and flight line from our back yard. You can't really see the beach in this picture but it was there! The rest are pictures of our living room. We made it ours with a few little things and a lot of love! I tried to find pictures of the way it was before we decorated so I could try to do a before and after thing, but I have no clue where those pictures are at the moment. Maybe I'll find them one day! And when I do, I'll show you! Have a good day, y'all!

                                         

Should We Stay or Should We Go? Part 2

After baby Silas was born, Justin started talking about how he wanted Silas to grow up in the same place that we did and be raised the same way we were and around the same people. He didn't want Silas to be a military brat and never having a place to call "home". He wanted him to have stability. Justin started looking into this program called Palace Chase. It's where you transfer from active duty to either the guard or reserve. Justin decided that he wanted to put in for it so we could go back home and raise Silas around his family and give him the life that we (thought) we wanted for him, and all Justin would have to do is be a weekend warrior. I wasn't sure what I thought about it. I really didn't want to get out of active duty because I loved everything about our life in active (well, most everything). But I had to be supportive. That's what military wives do. So, he submitted his package for this program and a couple of months later, he found out that he had gotten accepted and he would now be an Airman in the Tennessee Air National Guard. We moved from Okinawa at the first of November to start a new life in the Guard and back home in Tennessee. It was scary coming back home to no jobs and soon to be no income. But thankfully the good Lord had plans for us and we both found jobs within a month of being home. I started working at a Mini Cooper dealership and Justin got on with Norfolk Southern as a conductor. Everyone had always told us that working for the railroad had great benefits and great pay and all that good stuff that people look for in a career. But what they didn't tell you was that you only get those great things if you have the seniority. Justin went to training and then started doing rotationals at each rail yard.  We had a steady pay check until the rotations ended and he got put on the extra board. The extra board is a stupid system that the railroad uses to screw over new guys. They put you on this board and you're on call 24/7 and go to work whenever and where ever they need you. And the real kicker is that you only get paid for the days you work. Justin was doing good to get 2 days of work a week so needless to say his paycheck was microscopic. After a few months of tiny pay checks, Justin started his mandatory two week orders at the guard base. After a few days of being a full time Airman again, he started to second guess his decision of getting out. That's when he started looking for ways to get back in. Justin thought he would go talk to a recruiter to see what his chances of getting back to active would be. Again, the good Lord was watching over us and had a plan already layed out for us. There just so happened to be a program open at the time that was geared towards filling spots in certain career fields to 200 prior service members. Jackpot! Most of the career fields that they were looking to fill were special operation jobs. No way. Not gonna happen. Thankfully, there was a position open for recruiters. Justin and his amazing recruiter, MSGT Israel, started to put his package together to submit for this prior service program. We had to go interview with the superintendent of the squadron and explain why we wanted to go back and all that jazz (Yes. Even I was interviewed).He put in his recommendation and we were told that we would find out whether or not he got accepted back into active duty the first week of December. But you know the military motto...hurry up and wait. And that's exactly what we did. We waited. We waited and we waited and we waited. And finally, he got the call that we had been waiting for for over a month! He had a phone interview with the selection commission on a Friday afternoon and she said we would get a definite answer sometime at the beginning of the week and find out where we would be stationed. Talk about the longest weekend of our lives! Monday passed and we hadn't heard anything. Tuesday passed. Nothing. And finally, Justin got a call welcoming him back to active duty and telling him that our new home will be in Hot Springs, Arkansas. We were elated! We just found all of this out in early January so the excitement hasn't exactly worn off yet. Justin leaves in mid April for tech school at Lackland for 6 weeks and then we will be on our way to Arkansas around the end of June. We are nervous to move again and a bit sad that Silas isn't going to be around his family all the time like he is now, but it's honestly what's best for us. And you're probably wondering what made Justin change his mind about the things he wanted for Silas. The answer to that is that he wants what's best for him. We want to him to have family, and values and a place to call "home" and he will. We aren't going to let those things fall to the way side because they are important to us and we want them to be important to him as well. We will only be 8 hours away so it will be much easier to come home for a visit than it was when we were in Oki (and way cheaper too!). I'm looking forward to this new journey that we are about to embark on and cant wait to see what life brings and to share this experience with y'all through my blog!

Okay, now my story is over...for now. I'm going to move onto more important and useful things now that y'all know a little more about me! If you have any ideas for topics or anything you would like me to post information about, just let me know and I'll see what I can do! I'm here to help!

Should We Stay or Should We Go? Part 1

At the beginning of Summer 2010, Justin and I had been in Okinawa for a year and a half. At the beginning of the year, we started pinching pennies and stashing extra cash away so we could take leave and go home to Tennessee to visit for a while. Tickets were at their cheapest $1300 for that time of year and we had to buy two! That's why we only went home that one time. Anyway, the week before we left for Tennessee, Justin and I had a long discussion about kids. We were only 21 and had been married for two years, but we felt as if that's what was missing from our life. That week, we decided to go off of birth control and just let nature take its course...not try to get pregnant but not try to prevent it. The following week, we were on a plane bound for beautiful East Tennessee. It felt so good to be home and to be back where we came from, where we fit in. Being able to sleep in and not have to hit the snooze button and procrastinate work for an hour felt so nice. Good food. Good people. Good times. But all good things must come to an end. We found ourselves back at McGhee Tyson Airport after just a short month saying our "see ya laters" to friends and family. Our other life, the hectic Air Force life, awaited us on the other side of the globe. Back to reality we went. When we landed at Naha Airport around 10:30 pm, our friend, Kasey, who we graduated high school with and just so happened to be stationed at Kadena as well, was there to pick us up. When we got back to base, I remembered that I had forgotten my toothbrush at my dads and told Kasey that I needed to stop at the shopette to get a new one. While I was in there, I passed by a shelf of pregnancy tests. As I glanced over at them, I thought "I haven't had a period in over a month. Better pick one of these bad boys up just in case". The next morning, well, afternoon (jet lag is a bad word), we rolled out of bed and started our day. I went to the bathroom and pulled the pregnancy test out from under the bathroom sink. I had it hidden from Justin because I didn't want to freak him out until I knew for sure whether I was preggo or not. Anyway, I did my business on the little pink stick, sat it down and waited. One pink line popped up, not pregnant. I was just thinking "Okay. No biggie. My cycle has just been thrown off since I haven't been on the pill in a while. I'll start soon". A few days later, after the jet lag had worn off and we had gotten back into our work routine and all that fun jazz, I realized that I still hadn't started. So, Saturday morning (about a week and a half after we had returned from TN), I peed on the other stick and waited, not expecting anything. I sat it down, washed my face and went about my business. Then I glanced down at the stick and saw TWO pink lines! TWO! I had to do a double take just to make sure I wasn't seeing things! There it was, staring me in the face. PREGNANT! I was shocked. Happy, but shocked. I wasn't expecting it to happen that fast. After all, I had only been off the pill for a week. Just call me Fertile Myrtle! Anyway, I ran into the living room where Justin was sitting, pee stick in hand, and yelled "Justin!! There's two pink line! Two pink lines!!" He smiled and hugged me and then said to me in all seriousness, "That's great! What does that mean?" I honestly thought he was kidding, but much to my dismay, he wasn't. I screamed, "I'M PREGNANT!!!" Then it hit him! Holy cow. We're going to be parents! We were so excited and couldn't wait to tell our friends and family back home what the Tennessee air had done to me! Too bad we had to wait until it was morning in Tennessee. Being 13 hours ahead of Eastern Time made it tough to tell good news when it happens! I had a pretty scary pregnancy the first few months. (Maybe I'll blog about that another day but I have to get on with the rest of this story before I bore y'all to tears) But on March 4, 2011, God blessed us with a happy, healthy, huge 9 lb 10.1 oz 22.5 in baby boy named Silas James McCullough. We were in heaven.

 

I told you that long story of how I found out I was pregnant to tell the next story...the story that explians the title. Stay tuned. Until then, enjoy some pictures!



Uh oh. Not just another missed period!

The night before I got induced. 40 weeks and 6 days

                  
                     

Hello Cultrure Shock

So you're probably wondering why this crazy blogging lady is posting back to back to back. Well, I'm trying to give y'all a feel of my AF wife life story and get it over with so we can start talking about the important stuff that can actually be useful! There is only one more post after this one then I'm done talking about myself...I promise.

So, after the initial shock of finally being in Japan and all of that fun jet lag crap wore off, Justin and I ventured off base to explore the not so wide world of Okinawa. It was nothing like I pictured it to be. Everything was so close together and some of the buildings were old and run down. I was a little disappointed but Justin reminded me that most of these places were here during World War II and the Battle of Okinawa. Don't get me wrong though, there were a lot of nice places as well. We didn't wonder far from the base...mainly because we had no idea where we were or where we were going. We went somewhere that quickly became one of my favorite places. American Village. It was all of these buildings, stores and novelty shops that had all kinds of neat American type things. It was kind of the Japanese version of what they believed America to be. Obviously, I suck at trying to explain it so just check out the pictures to get a better idea.

The longer we had been there, the more familiar we got with our surroundings and our sense of direction seemed to improve a bit as well. The beaches there were like nothing I'd ever seen before. The water is so crystal clear that you can see straight to the bottom. It's about 20 shades of blue and green and is absolutely amazing! The only thing that I didn't like about the beaches was the coral and the sea weed that was everywhere! It was in the sand, the water. Everywhere! But it was a small price to pay to be able to go to the beach anytime we wanted!

 

There were also all kinds of yummy places to eat at as well. Authentic Japanese food is so much better than America's version of Japanese food. We were always finding little hole in the wall places to eat. Those were usually the best! There was a place that we loved called Arin Krin aka the Garlic House. All things garlic. Garlic rice, garlic pizza, deep fried garlic mashed potatoes, even whole garlic cloves! Ah it was amazing! You would leave absolutely wreaking of garlic! But it was so worth it! The best place on Oki to eat, probably even the best place on the planet to eat was by far Cocos Curry House. We ate there at least twice a week. My mouth still waters to this day thinking of it! I would fly all the way back to Japan just to eat a huge plate of chicken cutlet curry, add cheese and spinach, level 3! Good memories.

Okinawa was also packed with history. Like I said before, the Battle of Okinawa happened there during WWII so you can imagine what kind of history is there. We tried to go on a historic adventure every weekend...when we weren't lounging on the beach, of course! ;) I could write an entire post just about the history! Hey, that's a good idea! Note to self...

I probably should have told you about the base(s) and the housing and whatnot, but that's another topic for another day!

Here are a few more Oki pics for your viewing pleasure! Enjoy!