Remember the story of how we found out I was pregnant? Well, there's a little more to that story then what I revealed. A few days after those two pink lines popped up on the pee stick, we were still over the moon with happiness. We had found out that I was 5 weeks along and that was about all we knew at this point. Still so very happy though! But that happiness turned into overwhelming fear a week afterwards. I got up one morning and was very dizzy and light headed. I was also pretty nauseous but I just assumed that these symptoms we just normal pregnancy annoyances, so I tried to brush them off. But as the day progressed, so did my symptoms. I guess my motherly instinct kicked in early because I just knew something was wrong. I decided that I needed to go to the emergency room just to make sure everything was okay with the baby. I was so dizzy that I didn't think I needed to drive but Justin was at work. So I called my amazing friend Sara and she was sweet enough to take me and sit with me in the ER until Justin got off of work. So when we got there, the Corpsman came in, took my vitals, asked what the problem was, took blood and made me pee in a cup. Lieutenant Mameninski, the OB on call at the ER that night, decided to do a vaginal ultrasound just to be on the safe side. Fun stuff, huh? I still felt like crap but was trying to stay positive and not let my worries get the best of me. When he started the ultrasound, his face turned very serious and he turned the screen away from me. He pulled the Corpsman aside and gave him orders to take me down to have a sonogram. At this point, just judging from the look on every one's faces, I could tell that something was wrong with either the baby, or with myself. The whole time, Sara was holding my hand and trying her best to keep me calm (how lucky was I to have her there?!). During the sonogram, the screen was turned to where I couldn't see it, just like the other one was. Way to freak a pregnant lady out! It lasted for about 15 minutes and when it was over, the radiology lady tried to seem chipper (she didn't do a very good job) and told me they were going to send everything they had gathered to the doctors/hospital at Hickam AFB in Hawaii so they could get a better look and give us their opinion on the situation. Situation? There's a situation? I had no idea since everyone was tip toeing around me and not telling me a dang thing. So, they wheeled me back to my room and told me it was going to be a little while before they heard anything from Hawaii. We had been there since about 5:00 pm and it was around 9:00 or 10:00 at this point. Justin was working nights. Just wanted to clear that up ;) Anyway,we had some time to kill so Sara was trying to keep me calm by showing me stupid YouTube videos and playing some music. It helped up until the point when the nurse came in an hour or so later and said that my husband needed to get there ASAP. Ah, crap. THAT'S when I knew something was way wrong. She said she would call him and they would talk to us about what was going on when he arrived. The hospital wasn't on Kadena (the base we lived on). It was on a Naval base a few miles down the road. Only about a 10 minute drive from Justin's shop. As I waited for Justin to get there, my mind was going nuts and my heart was about to beat out of my chest. I wasn't expecting Justin to show until at least 45 minutes since he had to find someone to cover for him at work and all but about 15 minutes after the nurse got off the phone with him, he came running through the door. My hero! Sara hugged me and I thanked her for bringing me and being there for me, then she went on her way. The doctor came in and gave us news that expecting parents never want to hear. There was a baby in there but they couldn't find it. They believed that I had an ectopic pregnancy and that he was still in my fallopian tube. We were crushed. Justin was trying so hard to keep it together for me and held my hand the whole time. They told me that there was an extremely small chance that the baby would work his way down into my uterus but they were going to give him a chance. Thankfully, Dr. Mameninski promised us that he would be my doctor from there on out and throughout my whole pregnancy and so on. Thank the Lord. I had always heard stories from people that had babies on Oki that you never see the same doctor twice and you never know who will deliver your baby. He was truly God sent and we were so blessed to have him. Anyway, he ordered me to go home and rest and to come back to the hospital every 6 days to get blood work done. If my hormone levels had doubled like they were supposed to, that meant things were going the way they should and that the baby was working his way down. But just in case my levels weren't doubling, I needed to pack an overnight bag so I could have surgery to remove the baby. Talk about terrifying. I signed the discharge papers around 1:00 am and had to compose myself before we left. We were completely silent on the ride home, just the sounds of me sucking up snot and trying not to cry. When we got home, I let the dog out and was getting ready for bed. When I walked into the bedroom, I saw Justin knelt next to the bed on his knees, crying and praying. The water works came back on full force when he grabbed my hand and pulled me down with him. We prayed for God's will to be done and for him to give us the strength and faith we needed to get through this and to watch over this child that we wanted so badly. After we prayed, we got in bed and Justin held me and we both cried ourselves to sleep. The next few days were rough. I rested for a couple of days before going back to work. Six days after we left the ER, I packed my dreaded overnight bag and we headed to the hospital to have my first round of blood work done. I got my arm pricked and we impatiently waited for the results. Dr. Mameninski came in the waiting room, results in hand and a smile on his face and gave us the good news...my levels had doubled. Praise the Lord! He told us not to get too excited just yet because we still had three weeks of blood work and not knowing ahead of us. If my levels continued to double, he was going to do an ultrasound after the four weeks to see where and how the baby was. So every week for the next month, we went to the hospital, overnight bag in tow, and continued to get good news. But we were trying to restrain from getting excited just in case something went wrong. Week four finally came and my hormone levels along with everything else were exactly where they needed to be. Dr. Mameninski did the ultrasound and there he was. Our little miracle. He was in there. We both burst into happy tears and then smiled when we saw him wiggle and give us the thumbs up. Our baby was okay, and already had a sense of humor and was keeping us on our toes! Dr. Mameninski was just as shocked as we were and said that the odds of something like this happening were highly unlikely, but that God was watching over us and our little miracle child. The rest of my pregnancy was pretty easy. No more complications, until about an hour after I delivered and the day after.
Right before I started pushing, I had a 103 fever that I just couldn't break. After two hours of pushing, Silas finally decided to grace us with his presence. Seeing him take his first breath and hearing his first cry was the most relieving feeling. He was finally here and was okay. But since I had had a high fever when I delivered, it transmitted to him. And because he was so big (10 lbs 22.5 in), he was having a very hard time regulating his blood sugar. He was in the room with us for about a hour and we got to hold him for a few minutes each, then they rushed him to the NICU when his blood sugar drastically dropped to 20. Again, panic set in. They put a huge IV in his little newborn head and I didn't get to see him for the first 24 hours of his life. Once they took him to the NICU and got both of us squared away, Justin went home to shower, let the dog out, eat, rest, and call everyone to give them the good news. About 20 minutes after he left, I crashed. I asked the nurse to help me to the bathroom (first time I'd been out of bed in nearly 30 hours). Once I got up and got in there, I sat down and a huge soccer ball sized blood clot fell out of me (sorry for putting that image in your mind but I'm just being truthful!). I looked up at the nurse and said "I'm about to pass out". And that's exactly what I did. Boom! I hit the floor....hard! When I finally came to nearly 3 hours later, I was hooked up to heart monitors, IVs and oxygen. I had no idea what had happened. All they told me was that I had lost a lot of blood and that I passed out. Well, duh! I knew that. Anyway, I started doing better so they took me back and got me settled into postpartum. But I still hadn't seen Silas. After I got settled in, they finally let me shower and eat. While I was doing that, Justin told me he was going to go down to the NICU to check on Silas and that he'd be right back. Over an hour later, Justin came strutting through the door with a HUGE smile on his face and told me that he got to hold Silas, give him a bath, feed him, and rock him to sleep. Oh, I was crushed! I burst into tears because I had barely gotten to see him and let alone all of those things. I could have killed him (looking back, I'm kind of glad he got that special alone time with him). But Justin told me that after I got some rest and recovered from my little spell I had earlier and gained some strength, I could go down that night after supper. Later that night, Justin wheeled me down there and explained to me before we saw him that he had a huge port in his head and was hooked up to an IV and that I just needed to brace myself to see him like that. After what felt like a never ending wheel chair ride to the NICU, I finally got to see my baby boy. He was perfect...even with a huge IV in his head. It was so hard as a new mom to see him with that big thing in his head and hooked up to stuff, but I was so happy and blessed that after all we had been through in the beginning, he was here and was healthy and happy. I was in heaven with my little family. We stayed with him for about an hour before I had to go back to my room. They kept Silas over night in the NICU which was a blessing in disguise because I got to sleep all night...with the exception of the nurse coming in every few hours taking my vitals and to shove iron pills down my throat. The next morning, Silas' blood sugar was finally back to normal and he was discharged from the NICU. I finally got to hold him and love on him like I'd been waiting to for 9 months. We ended up staying another night at the hospital because of both of our complications. We finally got to go home early the next afternoon and I cant tell you how relieved I was that all that medical drama non sense was over and that we finally had our miracle baby home.
As I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes reliving it all, Silas is cuddled up next to me watching Cars and talking away. He is proof that God is so amazing. He gave us this beautiful child that the doctors said would never make it. He heard our prayers and knew how much we wanted this child. The struggles that we went through at the beginning of my pregnancy and after Silas was born was a test of our faith. God knew what he was doing. He had our baby in his hands the whole time. I love Silas James more than words can ever explain and thank God every single day for him. He truly is our miracle child and proof that miracles happen everyday and that there is a God. God is good...all the time.
The first picture of baby Silas. If you look closely,
you can see a tiny thumbs up.
This is our first picture together...and a glance of what 26 hours
of labor looks like. I could have stayed in the moment forever.
Is this not the most pitiful thing?! Heartbreaking to a new mother.
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